Thank goodness…

…that’s over for a little while. No more trips down to London, at least not until my consultant appointment a week on Tuesday. And no more steroids, today I expect quite a crash down but to be honest they haven’t provided the energy I had really hoped for. Following a lovely spaghetti bolognaise freshly cooked by Jem for an early tea, or rather late lunch, I was back home asleep on the sofa by 5pm waking only briefly for a bowl of cereal and to catch up on Masterchef.

Today will be a day of rest but I will try again to work on my party invites. Sue and Angela may pop in later which will be a good break from lying there. And Oh Yes Louise, my Pain Nurse will be most welcome at about 3pm, this will provide a good opportunity to reassess my
current medication as I think I am relying on my new mate Oramorph a little more than I should.

I wonder what the weekend has in store for you? What do people usually do who have more energy? I feel like I am becoming out of touch with normal life. It is hard to imagine life without fatigue at the moment but I was told yesterday that the tiredness was just the cumslitive effects of all the chemo drugs and may take some time to get over.

Oh well more succumbing to do for me.

Deborah x


10 thoughts on “Thank goodness…

  1. I’m glad you’ve got a break from London for a while, that must be tiring in itself, let alone the treatment as well!! We’re packing Anna off to Norfolk at the weekend for the duke of Edinburgh weekend, it took 1 1/2 hours to put the tent up!! The second practice went a bit better, thank goodness. Hopefully well have sunshine for the garden. Take care 😋

  2. Deb will see you later,don’t worry about energy.You always had bags of it, it’s just having a well earned rest. We can talk about our boring life later, I am not sure it will offer you much pleasure, but we look forward to a good chat, and you and Colin always provide that. See you soon.Angela

  3. Me n Annabel off to Brum to see Becky’s new flat and enjoy a girls weekend of shopping , eating, drinking and chatting. You’ll have your energy back in no time Debs…don’t wish it to soon …you’ll be pressganged into the 6 mile Saturday morning Hinxworth dog and pony walk as soon as you are able!

  4. I always think the word ‘succumb’ is too negative and prefer ‘yield’ which has a temporary sound.. Although they mean more or less the same, ‘yield’ can also mean ‘output’ – ‘production’, the produce harvested from the land. Much more positive, just like you xxx

    • Thank you Margo maybe I can yield whilst I am succumbing? They are both funny words really but whatever I intend to produce a harvest full of healthy cells.

  5. Hi Deb

    Thought I’d just send you a little reply to your post today.

    I have always been aware of the preciousness of time and constantly strive to to waste it.

    Your prompts are very welcome to ensure that I keep up this practice 🙂

    I always have holidays booked, gigs to look forward to, nights out, family occasions celebrated, all in an effort to ensure time isn’t being wasted and life is being lived 🙂

    But my husband and I have had a rough trot over the last few years and during that time I sat, for loooonnnnnnnggggggg periods of time. I needed to be still. Time to reflect. Time to recover. Time to rebuild. Time to put on LOADS of weight. This weight was a protective padding, necessary to protect me from the high octane emotional times I was going through. I accepted that. It was through this time of stillness that I remained sane. Now I am ready to lose some weight and I am doing it slowly and surely. Because it is time.

    This weekend we are going to Windsor Castle. My son was awarded the Queens Scout award this year and on Sunday he is being presented to the Duchess of Cambridge and Bear Grylls. A super proud parent moment 🙂

    Then next weekend we are going to Holland on one of those OAP style coach holidays to see the bulb fields. We spend any spare cash we have on holidays and other life living experiences, like eating cake, or having a cup of coffee in a swanky hotel just for the fun of it 🙂

    Deborah it is my sincerest heartfelt wish that you will again be able to do things just for the fun of it.

    I wear two bracelets all the time. I bought them from a silver smith on a tiny Caribbean island. One is called Island Boy – Live Life With Joy. The second is called Karma – You Get Out Of Life What You Put Into It.

    I try to put joy in my life so that I can live life with joy.

    Let part of your healing be finding what gives you joy and the ability to pace and balance all that you want to do and be healthy.

    For this weekend. Accept. Dream. Accept. Breathe deeply. Dream and dream and dream. You need to have a dream before you create the reality. Use this time of succumbing to dream. Then when you feel better you can work on making these dreams reality. Meanwhile let yourself heal. Be comfortable in the stillness. Be aware that it is necessary at this time. 🙂

    Love, light and many blessings as you succumb.


    Sent from my iPad

    • Thank you Jackie I really appreciate the time you take to comment and hearing your story. I shall continue to dream and create a healthy future whilst allowing my physical body to do what it needs to do.

  6. Deborah I especially enjoyed and related to the last writer, Jackie? I think it was, and felt I had to just say that in spite of not commenting much that I do read you every day, sending you the vibes, and hoping that soon you’ll be feeling more like your old self. But please please go easy on yourself: cancer dr told me it could take up to 6 months to get my full energy back,I have another almost two decades under my belt whilst not having as heavy a treatment regimen such as you have been enduring. Anyway, it’s now almost three months since my final chemo and I’m feeling much more motivated and almost normal again. So don’t hurry yourself too much, you’ll get there, but faster if you allow yourself the luxury of just “being”. Much love, Nicola

    • Thank you Nicola its good to know there is light at the end of the tunnel and that you are feeling more ‘normal’ again. I have almost forgotten what normal is but I am sure I will recognise it once I get there! Meanwhile I shall let myself just be.

  7. Dearest Deb looking for ‘normality’.

    Is that really you talking?? And since when have you decided that you want to be an ‘average’ person?! Most people with bags of energy dream of taking it slowly and need to go to classes and workshops to learn to relax and take it easy. As previous delighted people above said: nothing is wrong with being ‘in the moment;. Yes – it can be boring at times. But it is time for reflection and for looking forward. Not so much your personality type – I know, but we are all here to learn and develop. Use this time wisely. No doubt once you feel your body’s up to it – you’ll be out and about like a little puppy all over the place sniffing anything that can be sniffed to see where all the excitement is and will surely jump straight in. So for now see if you can just be. It’s a good place to explore sometimes.

    I see you have many visitors all week round, and your current social life is probably by far passed the social life of any ‘average’ person. Listen to your body. It needs you.

    Sending you lots of love and hugs. And well done for having reached the end of nearly 4 difficult months. Remember NLP, and looking behind your shoulder to remind yourself where you were in December/ January and where you are now. Despite the situation – there are some good things to take from this. Your resilience, strength, perseverance and much more. I hope you can tap yourself (and Colin) on the shoulder today for being here stronger than ever.


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