Tonight’s the night….

….where I may possibly be crowned Role Model of the Year. Thank you to whoever put my name forward. I know both my lovely husband and amazing sister nominated me for the prestigious title and I feel very humbled that they did such a thing and think me worthy of the title, that is enough of a prize for me. There are four other people that have been short listed in my category so I have a one in four chance of winning which isn’t bad odds. Talking about winning I am starting to feel very excited in the mornings waiting for the postman. I have entered quite a few competitions lately so I am visualising the winning envelopes and prizes to start arriving very soon.

Yesterday I really enjoyed my visit to the Hospice where I had a lovely aromatherapy massage and then a long chat with the doctor. The doctor at the hospice used to be one of the GP’s at my practice in Letchworth and his kids used to go to the same school as mine. He also used to be a mental health nurse so we had lots to chat about. Together we decided to try and increase the pain killer Gabapentin before going on to the patches and seeing if this made a difference to my pain. I have to step up the dose slowly so it may take a while to notice any difference.

I spoke to my HR department yesterday and it seems that they take into account any previous days sick when calculating when I would need on go on half pay. Unfortunately I had taken a couple of weeks off in September for anxiety due to my para proteins rising so quickly and me feeling understandably very worried about it. I just hope the half pay will not effect my pension as I am still contemplating applying for early retirement on the grounds of ill health. I am also concerned that when I return to work if I need to go off sick again in the same financial year I will only be paid half my salary and after six months of this I will not be paid anything at all. I have never been great with finances but I think I need to think about other ways of making money which brings me on to the book idea once again.

I hope you don’t mind me using you as my brain storming group? I did a little bit of research last night and I couldn’t find any easy to read books for patents who may be worried about their child’s mental health. All I could find were books aimed at professionals or books on specific topics such as ADHD or depression for example. So I do think there is a market there. So first of all I need to think of a book title. I think it needs to clearly spell out what it aims to do so the best I have come up with is. ‘Are you worried about your child’s Mental Health? A guide for parents and Carer’s.’ I know it doesn’t appear to be a very snappy title but its quite clear and simple I think and I wanted to imagine what a parent would type into google or Amazon if she/he was looking for such a book. I want the book to be quite basic, of few but important and relevant words and some nice illustrations. I want it to be easy to read and jargon free which might be where I need your help. Having been in mental health for many years now I may slip into jargon mode thinking unfairly that other people will know what I mean, so do let me know if that happens please. I will break the book up into age categories. For example birth to two years. What would make a parent feel concerned about their babies emotional well being between those ages. You would be surprised that many people do worry about things such as, should I leave my baby crying or my two year old is very clingy to me and I find it hard to leave him with anyone. Many parents are concerned that these things may cause their child to have or be having poor mental health or at least emotional problems. Between these ages there could be some signs that the baby isn’t developing as he or she should be so the book could point them in the right direction and towards the appropriate professional to seek advice from. There is a lot to write but as I said earlier I want to keep the book as easy to read as possible because there are already books out there that are far more academic.

So I have the book to think about today and the great problem of what am I going to wear tonight? The tickets state smart dress so I will have to dig something out of the back of the wardrobe and hope it still fits as I have put on quite a bit of weight lately. My excuse for the weight gain is that I need quite a good pinch full of fat around my tummy to inject the growth hormones into, so I have had to eat a lot more cream cakes lately! Hmmm perhaps I may have something left over from the Village Secrets event. Is it really almost 9am? Colin has already gone on his long walk with the dog and is offering to cook me breakfast now so I had better get up from my warm cosy bed and slowly meander downstairs. See having Cancer does have its advantages!

Have a great day today. I have a funny feeling today is going to be a good one now come on postman where are you?

Deborah x

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9 thoughts on “Tonight’s the night….

  1. Dear Deborah, Sorry I can’t be there tonight, will be away with my sister in law in Surrey, seeing son Stephen and American love Rebecca tomorrow. It occurs to me that a snappier title could be “Is my child mad? – a guide for parents and carers.” I fear that snappier titles sell books. Hope to see you Saturday or Sunday and we can brainstorm or something. Lots of love, Patrick _____

  2. Hi Deb

    I wanted to share my first response to the title of the book. I’m worried about the word ‘worried’.

    I may be interested and a little concerned, but not worried yet cos I haven’t read the book . . . I see myself picking up the book as a first stop before moving onto more medically oriented books.

    I thought something like: Children’s Mental Health – an easy to read guide for professionals, parents and carers.

    I still don’t like the word guide either, I would like to see something more descriptive to show that it has easy to understand descriptions of the disorders . . . So . . . Introductory guide?

    Just a few thoughts thrown quickly into an email. πŸ™‚

    I’m glad your trip to hospice was good. It is a huge hurdle to get over, accepting you are one of their clients. And as much as the thought of it becoming normalised is a horrible thought, it will become normal to realise that the people who know your problems and potential solutions are those that are housed in a place called a hospice. When I am having a new experience be it travelling, or doctors or going into a posh hotel, or anything taking me out of my comfort zone I just look around me at the people to whom all this is normal and I assimilate telling myself that it is ‘normal’ for all these people so its ‘normal’ for me to be here. There are no limits, only those you set yourself πŸ™‚

    Anyhoo enough of my ramblings πŸ™‚

    Hope the sun shines on you today.

    Jackie (Kate’s friend) x

    Sent from my iPad

  3. Good luck! Re your sick leave I think that if you are back at work by 31 March you are entitled to a new set of sick leave starting from 1 April (a warning here as my Head did say It had to be for a new sickness, but I have not read that anywhere) In the LGPS scheme I don’t believe your pension is compromised by the half pay and if you retire on ill health (being unable to ever work again) you should be paid the same pension as if you had worked to normal retirement age. You see where my worries lie, as, like you I am the bread winner and although I was only diagnosed 7 weeks ago, have been anxiously researching money matters as well as myeloma. No treatment yet except radiotherapy on fractured collar bone but am going to ask to be referred from Ealing Hospital to University College hoping to get on the PADIMAC trial. I figure that if you are in the NHS and. chose that hospital it must be the best?
    Carol

    • Dear Carol
      I have certainly been very impressed by the UCLH I was recommended to go there by a friend and professor at the Royal Free and must say I couldn’t ask for better care. We have also found a great place to park that is very reasonable in price. Please feel free to email me at anytime if you need more help or advice. My email address id deborah.bone@mac.com
      Best of Luck
      Deborah x

  4. Debs, use a working title. Write the book in the direction you say. The title will become clear when the book is finished. Mark Haddon’s novel on the asperger diagnosed boy (the curious incident of the dog in the night) was just brilliant (although not the same genre). My view, write the book and pick a phrase from it. The strap line can say it all. But as you will need to buy the domain name too, I think this is the way to go!

  5. How about a title like this “Should I be worried? A parent’s guide to mental health problems in children; what to look out for and how to seek help.” You’re right there is a definite gap in the market and this would be such a useful book. Good luck tonight and have fun πŸ™‚

  6. Hi Deborah

    Congratulations on your award you deserve it. Your book is a great idea and I like the title suggested below ‘is my child mad’ as it is punchy. As a practitioner supporting parents whose children have emotional or mental health problems I would welcome such a resource and knowing what I know about you through working with your lovely mum Jill it will be a brilliant book. Best wishes, Diane

  7. Hi deb, I think your title is fine. When parents phone the health professionals at work they say “I’m worried about ……. ” i don’t think putting “mad” in the title is going to encourage parents to buy it, as people don’t want to think that their children are “mad”, they want help with their worries. Just a thought. So glad you won last night.

    Take care xx πŸ˜€

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