I think I need to perk up …

…..my writing. I am aware that it may be becoming a little dull and samey (another one of my made up words). Do you really want to hear about the lovely time I had with my friends yesterday morning or that the retired vicar popped in for a very welcome chat? Or that Jem and Elliot surprised us with a visit and I was able to spend some valuable time with my gorgeous grandson? All very exciting and perhaps interesting for my very closest family members but I do now have over 250 followers and not all of you are related. The difficulty is, and I may have touched on this before, is that my audience is so mixed. Some of you are fellow myeloma sufferers, others old and new friends, and some professionals I have known through work or who have been told about my words of wisdom and have added me as one of their facebook friends or started to follow me on twitter. And then some of you need to have the blog published before 7am so you can read it on the train into work others like to read it over their morning cuppa. You see I am sensitive to your needs so I want to ensure this blog isn’t all about just little old me, Role Model of the Year. I am still a little shocked by my new title and look forward to seeing the pictures and write up in our local rag.

But if I don’t write about myself, myeloma or mental health I wonder what else of interest I have to share. Maybe the subjects mentioned do suffice and I am just becoming paranoid, something perhaps I need to discuss with my psychologist on Friday. For now I shall continue as before. I guess that as I have had over 20,000 views and received more than eight hundred comments I must somehow be on the right track.

Today I will have another free complimentary reflexology session at the hospice, one of the benefits of having Cancer. We will then have a visit from our accountant who has kindly offered to give her much welcomed advice on our financial circumstances and the benefits of retiring early. The more I think about it, the more I think it might be the right the way to go. Their is no point in kidding myself, my life has been shortened and it could be that I only have a few years yet to go. Should I be spending that time working or enjoy time with my husband and family. If I do manage to last ten years or more it will be a bonus. I just need to think of it as if my life has been fast forwarded and I am now at the age of retirement. I think that retirement needs a little while to get used to and for most people they have a few years to think about it as the date looms closer. I have had it shoved in my face and need to make some quicker decisions. The problem is that it is hard to think straight when you are pumped up with opioids and other medications and distracted by pain. I find it hard to remember what it feels like to be pain free. And then even if I do decide to go down the pension route it is up to the state and somebody in government as to whether they will grant it to me on the grounds of ill health. Perhaps all will become clearer following this mornings meeting.

I must try to take each day at a time but this week is pretty busy and is a build up to my next dose of chemo something I can’t pretend to be looking forward to.

I hope your Monday is a good one, perhaps today the postman will start to bring me news of a competition prize.

Deborah x

11 thoughts on “I think I need to perk up …

  1. Debs I think it is important to continue to write about everything including the seeming trivial stuff. It demonstrates you are a wife, mother, sister, friend, daughter….YOU first…… and a cancer sufferer second. x

  2. Completely agree! As a new subscriber to your blog, it’s the everyday stuff that means so much. Have a good and relaxing day, Deborah. xx

  3. As a fellow person living with myeloma, I like hearing more about not so much your treatment, but your thoughts and feelings about how myeloma has and hasn’t changed you, how you feel about it and about life with myeloma, in all its aspects.

    As a reader, and someone who only knows you through myeloma and blogging, so far at any rate, I find myself sometimes overwhelmed by the daily posts, but that does NOT mean I think you shouldn’t post daily, just that I can’t always read them all.

    Equally as a fellow myeloma blogger, I find it’s important for me to write about whatever I need to write about, as the writing for me has a therapeutic role as well as informing others. It helps me get my head around what’s happening and how I feel. So, I’d say just do what feels right for you.

    Ultimately, I think it’s important that you do and you write in whatever way and about whatever you want as long as it works for you. It’s YOUR blog after all!

    • Thank you Jet. I do find it helpful to share my feelings and thoughts when I wake up and then I feel I have let them go and can get on with the day.
      Deborah x

  4. I agree Deborah. Just write as you feel each day _ it is always interesting and an inspiration. have a good day. By the way – retirement is very busy . I don’t miss work at all & I thought that I would!

  5. I agree with everyone. Your blog is a source of inspiration and always informative, interesting, witty and a reflection of what you are going through. I agree with Judy too! Retirement is very active and rewarding for those of us who have stepped away from that treadmill!
    Take care my favorite Role Model from across the pond!

    • Thank you Kathy. Are you sure you wont be in the UK on the 13th July I know where a great party is going on and you would be more than welcome
      Deborah x

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