…to Brooklands museum in Surrey was enjoyed by all. I had the chance to sit in the Wellington and mum was able to share her father’s diary with some very interested historians. We all (Mum, Colin and I) came back on board the motorhome for lunch and then an afternoon nap before Mummy crept out to meet up with Kate and Martin again.
I really would like to get to the bottom of my pain, yesterday it wasn’t too bad but as soon as I sat down on the sofa it returned with a vengeance. Well I am bored of talking about it now, never mind having it.
Late last night I was very tearful and Colin found it hard to console me although he did a good job by changing my state and taking me back downstairs. I had received a lovely email from the chief exec which reminded me of who I used to be. I don’t like what I see in the mirror. It is the party and then a holiday to France that is keeping me going, but I am afraid only just. I am sharing this with you not that I at all want you to feel sorry for me (I do that enough for myself) but because it helps me to see it in writing and try and sort it out and to share with other Myeloma sufferers, that its Ok to feel down sometimes. Just because I don’t recognise the person in the photographs from only a few months ago doesn’t mean it’s not me. I just need to reinvent myself somehow. If I hadn’t suddenly realised that I have to go up to London for an echograph today, I would get on with my book then look forward to becoming Deborah, a recognised author, of children’s mental health books.
I wish the sun would come out again, perhaps it’s saving itself for the party.