So much to be grateful for.

It’s not been the best of weeks but yesterday I coped better than I thought I would. There were some tears, as I had imagined there would be, but I hadn’t been back to work since I took some annual leave just before Christmas. Who would have known then that I would be retiring? To be honest it was a great sense of relief and as I looked around the walls and through my filing cabinets, I wondered how I ever coped with a job with such an enormous amount of responsibility. I think cancer has robbed me of some of the confidence I used to have but I really do have so much to be grateful for. I was paid a good salary for doing a job I loved, not everybody gets to be that lucky. Today is Colin’s turn to go out to work as he embarks on a painting and decorating job. I must admit I am really missing him but the time on my own has provided me with the opportunity to do some major sorting out. As I re-arrange all the stuff we have managed to accumulate, I wish I was better at throwing things out or at least giving stuff away. I am also rather a lot slower than I used to be. I am finding it quite hard to get back into the swing of things and feeling quite lazy and unmotivated which is not like me at all. I have always been quite self disciplined and excited about all the opportunities in front of me but now I could spend the days quite happily sitting around in my PJ’s. I expect I will get the old mojo back before long.
I really am doing OK and it was good to get the all clear again from my consultant on Tuesday. My paraproteins are still at a level that is too faint to quantify. Apparently, although I have a couple of dodgy indicators, as my body responded so well to treatment, that equals things out and I am only at a medium risk of starting the whole process again in a couple of years time. If I am lucky, which usually I am, it will be more like ten years, which I reckon is enough time for a cure to be found. Meanwhile I need to go out and grab life with both hands but first a little rest is in order.
Love to you all
Deborah xxx

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5 thoughts on “So much to be grateful for.

  1. I’m so glad it went well yesterday. Now you can start writing that book! I very much look forward to reading it. Take care xx 😀

  2. Remember Deb, six months following your last chemo AT LEAST before you start feeling really motivated again. It was that way for me, and you may be different of course, but you had a heavier whack of chemo I’m sure than I did so might be longer?? Meanwhile, I’m glad the week was not too bad, that the medical news is encouraging, and that you are listening to your body re rest etc. and how is Frodo? We have a “rescue” greyhound, they are such wonderful dogs and are a great comfort when you need that extra cuddle and non judgemental ear! Much love, Nicola

    Sent from my iPad

    >

    • Hi Nicola
      It’s amazing that we seem to have so much in common. Frodo is now about 11 years old. He is such a gentle little dog who is a lovely cuddle. He is a whippit crossed with a Beddlington terrier supposedly. He would spend all day just lounging on the sofa if he didn’t have to get up to eat. We used to have a much bigger Lurcher who was mostly a greyhound but he got meningitis following a scratch from a cat. We were devastated to lose him and vowed not to get another dog but after about a week we gave in as there are so many lovely dogs requiring a home.
      You are quite right out the recouperation period, I suppose I am expecting rather a lot after being so poorly and forgetting how much I have put my body through. I hope you are feeling much better. Are you planning any trips to the UK? It would be good to meet up and you would always be welcome here.
      How old is your greyhound?
      Take care
      It’s good to be in touch
      Deborah x

  3. Deb, I loved the details of your trip. I had a friend also in Bali at the time and being stuck in hospital in Melbourne for over two weeks I loved both sets of stories and photos. Your skills from work will find a place. Use them to organise your home life and set goals. I am constantly decluttering and cleaning, but I feel a great sense of achievement when stuff goes. Look for a voluntary position 1 day a week if you feel well enough. Keep the body and mind moving.

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