This is not an easy post to write….

especially as I want to be sensitive to my readers, all those family and friends I love.

..On July 10th, as many of you know, and helped to see me through the process, I had my first auto stem cell transplant, and on October 27th I got the all clear. No Cancer showing in my blood or bones. I was in remission. Hip Hip Hooray. I have heard that remission can last from about a year to 17 years! Being the dreamer I was counting on the 17, plenty of time for that elusive cure to be found.

On that same date of Oct 27, 2014, I was spiking a temperature and developing a cough, I started on some antibiotics and was told to go to my local A&E if things didn’t improve. I was admitted straight away ย to the Lister Hospital. which you have probably already read about on my previous blog, but to recap the medical and nursing care was human, caring and professional, I couldn’t ask for more empathy and involvement in my care. Thank You.


The Lister ran every test possible into my respiritoy problems and more, but many more questions were produced than answers. So it was agreed by all to transfer me to UCLH on Nov 7th.
I am back on T16, bed 20, where I had my original transplant.
It was good to see old friendly faces, and Colin is able to stay with me here.

They immediately started running more myeloma related tests and our biggest fears were revealed. After only just hearing we were in for a nice long remission (or so we hoped), my blood and another bone biopsy showed the Cancer was back with an a vengeance. The doctors were as shocked as we were. The bad news is no more stem cell transpnts for me. There are however a couple of drugs and maybe some trials available but it’s all a bit hit and miss

Without sounding too melodramatic we are emotional drained and devastated, but we will pick our selves up. It was good to have mum and Kate here to hear the news and support us but we are sure it’s equally as difficulty for them to hear, ย Even the doctors and nurses hugged me tightly and said how sorry they were. Many of them have been on the journey with us and nurse Kate even delivered my new Stem Cells, wishing me happy birthday ๐Ÿ˜ข

So what’s next? A new regime of continuous chemo will be worked out with all its delightful side effects and no doubt a ban on various Chistmas tipples! My temperature seems to be settling, so once a few more tests are carried out and my meds are sorted I may be homeย by Thursday and get a drive in my new car. Although now being put onto a load of strong drugs, I doubt I will be actually be able to drive it my self.

I know with all your help I will find a way through this. I need you more than ever now.

Love you all

Deborah xxx๐Ÿ˜•๐Ÿ‘ผ๐Ÿ‘ธ๐Ÿ˜ป๐Ÿ‘ช๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ™‹โค๏ธ๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ˜•๐Ÿ˜ทโ˜บ๏ธ๐Ÿพ๐ŸŒป๐ŸŒžโ˜€๏ธ๐ŸŒˆ๐ŸŒ ๐ŸŒ๐ŸŒŽ๐Ÿ’๐ŸŒธ๐ŸŒท

28 thoughts on “This is not an easy post to write….

  1. really can’t take in your news!!! never heard of this happening so quickly my heart goes out to you and your family I’m praying for you stay strong I follow your post your truly inspirational x x x

  2. Oh Debs, I’m so sorry to hear your news. I was thinking about you during x-factor, wondering whether you were well enough to be watching it on a “proper” telly. I’m sending you all the get well vibes I can possibly get my hands on. My heart goes out to you and your family – you have such a positive outlook and you know …… Miracles do happen and you, my friend, are overdue yours!!! Take good care of yourself and I am eagerly looking forward to seeing you behind the wheel of that new car of yours. Jayne xxxx

  3. Speechless. ๐Ÿ˜ข
    But Deborah, you won’t give up! There is treatment!
    Even my M component is on its way up and I soon must start some kind of treatment. Only one year has gone! It’s hard when you get disappointed . But we’d not giving up!
    You are not alone!
    There is so many good things around you, you just have to see them! Don’t let the black shadow of cancer make you not seeing all them! Take those good things in your heart!
    That sounds easy to say, I know! But let’s make our best to focus just at those things and get some comfort!

  4. Wow, I’m shocked to that the myeloma coming back so quickly and with such force. There are many new drugs to try and I hope one of them gets you back into remission. I’m sure it’s hard to be positive but we will all send positive thoughts up your way.

  5. I think of the Willa Cather quote: “Where there is great love, there are always miracles” Deborah, and we are all praying for on now. To write your blog required that huge strength you still have, love you lots, Nicola

    Sent from my iPad


  6. Deborah, as a fellow myeloma patient, I read your blog often, but haven’t commented before. We haven’t met, but I too live in Hertfordshire and we probably have one or two mutual acquaintances. I am so so very sorry to read your latest news. It just isn’t fair that you have to go through all this. I really hope your doctors can come up with something that gives you a break from all this crap. Sending lots of positive thoughts your way. Tracey xxx

  7. Hi Deb, Sorry i havent been on here for a while but Kate has kept me up to date on all your progress and i thought you looked good when i saw you the other day. Keep strong at a crappy time, you have lots of love and support behind you and i am sure you will beat this blip like the others along the way. Sending lots of love from myself and Andy xxxxxx

  8. Dear Deborah,
    I have been faithfully following your inspiring blog and felt so much compassion for you and your family as I read today’s entry. I hope that the enormous scope of love and care that surrounds you brings comfort as you face this new challenge.
    Your family on this small island off the west coast of Canada is sending love and strength to you and your family,

  9. Dear Deborah.
    What devastating news! I am so sorry to hear about the return of this wretched disease. Be assured that we are praying for you and for Colin. You have such a loving and supportive network around you. Praying for your strength and theirs to continue the fight and win the battle!
    Sending you our love and continuing to pray for that miracle!
    Rebecca and Tim xxx

  10. Hi debs, we’re so sorry to hear the news. We will be with you through your next lot of chemo. If you need anything let know. Love you xxx

  11. Hi Deborah
    I am really sorry to hear this news. You have been through such a lot. My thoughts are with you, willing the successful outcome of your next course of treatment. Let me know if I can do anything. Love and hugs xxx

  12. Deborah,
    I feel just terrible for you and your family. I read your blog with much interest because my stem cell transplant was a week after yours. It’s unfortunate you need to pursue different treatment options so soon but please keep your head up and stay strong. I start another round of planned chemo later this week. I’ll be thinking about you and your family.

  13. Deborah,
    We’ve been on this journey for about the same length of time. When you got good remission from velcade, and I didn’t, I was jealous. Today, reading this, I am just completely shocked. There are lots of treatments to try though, and people respond so differently. No knowing what, or when, will be our most effective treatment or most lasting remission.
    So strength to you.

  14. Hi Deborah,
    Thinking of you. I send you love, hugs and kisses. Just saw Oprah SuperSOULSunday and thought of you. Not sure if you have seen this episode, if you haven’t. great, if you have maybe it’s worth taking a look again. Deborah so much of who I am today and what I do, has been inspired by you, there are possibly many people who say these words to you, however, I truly know what meeting you has meant to my life.
    Have a look at this: Oprah Winfrey Super SOUL Sunday with Wayne Dyer in Mau. His book looks really interesting as well it’s called ‘Wishes fulfilled’. Have a Blessed Day… xxx

  15. Hello Deborah,
    You have the very strong prayers, positive thoughts and wishes from your friends in
    the States. You continue to be an inspiration and are a miracle. We are truly with you
    in spirit and pray for your strength and resiliency to this disease. Keep at it, keep at it, keep at it.
    Kathy xxxx

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