Dusting myself down and getting on with living.

Firstly, I must apologise for my recent couple of negative posts, I honestly hope they haven’t caused any offence. On my Facebook status yesterday, I called myself a nobody, allowing myself to drown in a little self pity. Of course I certainly don’t think, that you are not a nobody if you don’t have a job title. I just felt disappointed, that all that I worked so hard to achieve, seemed so abruptly to have come to an end. However with your generous support it’s not going to keep me down as I have so much more left to give. Thank you to you all for your thoughtful comments and emails. With a more positive head on, I am extremely lucky to be able to look back at my achievements and feel proud of all I have been part of. I have been granted the opportunity to explore new possibilities. If I could chose a new role, I would love to work with organisations to improve their understanding about emotional and mental health concerns. I would welcome the opportunity to listen and support staff who are experiencing stress related problems, empowering them to better manage their own emotional and mental health issues. From my many years of working within the health service, I have met many staff working way beyond their paid hours and causing themselves enormous amounts of anxiety and exhaustion. I expect at one time I was one of those people. However, when I set up Step2, my mantra to the team was that the most important thing to me, was that the staff took responsibility for managing their own mental health and emotional wellbeing before anything else. Supervision and support was provided to help this become a reality. I believe that team members that feel supported in achieving this are much more productive and happier in their role. The health service is full of people who want to make a difference to others, who feel passionate about their purpose and care deeply about providing the best service to their patients. However this is often at the detriment to themselves and their family. I know and firmly believe that this is certainly not, what the chief exec from my former trust wants from his workforce. I do appreciate that we are regularly being squeezed financially and being asked to do more for less money but I don’t think this is about working harder but more about working differently. In an enormous organisation like the NHS there are many people with skills and talents that are often lost in the bureaucracy of the organisation. Being aware of and pooling these talents must surely be beneficial to the community they serve.

Yesterday I was able to enjoy the sunshine with my gorgeous grandson. What a privilege it is to see him develop so quickly. This is one of the benefits of not going back to work. We were able to sing and laugh together and very soon I could forget about my own perceived problems. My lovely daughter made lunch, I was able to catch up with a friend and share afternoon tea with my sister.

Today I am in a better place.

Thank you for listening.

Deborah x

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