I am home….

….and I couldn’t feel more relieved. We arrived back at about 6pm yesterday and I got through my first challenge of climbing the stairs. Knowing my lovely comfortable bed was ready and waiting allowed me to draw on all my energy for that final push to reach it. I had the best nights sleep for weeks., with no rising temperature. And I even managed to have a bath this morning. How happy am I? I may as well have won the lottery.l

Lying here in bed I feel fine. The hardest thing is the pure exhaustion. It may sound pretty crazy but even pulling myself up in the bed can feel exhausting. My muscles seem fine though so I expect with a bit more fuel inside me it won’t be long before I’m able to do much more. I shall try a little more every day.

it feels quite odd to have no appetite whatsoever. There is nothing I really fancy so you could sit next to me with my previous favourite foods and I still wouldn’t be tempted. Apparently the large dose of mother of all chemo’s, kills of the hunger signal to your brain. So I am just pushing myself so eat and drnk little and often. Even my three little soldiers of marmite on toast makes a difference.

I just want to take a moment to reflect on the excellent care that I recieved during my 24 day stay at UCLH. The nursing care in particular was exceptional. Whether it was my Specialist Stem Celll Transplant nurse, the highly skilled nurses that cared for me on ward T16, or those that carried out the transplant in Ambulatory care.  They were so caring, thoughtful and kind. Laura even insisted on making sure I was safely tucked up in the car for the journey home, all in her own time.

The doctors were also amazing, I felt like I was holistically cared for, listened to, and that each decision was carefully explained to both Colin and I.

Whilst in hospital I also had visits from the holistic therapists, counsellor, physio’s and occupational health. All came to spend time with me and to ensure my journey was made as manageable as possible. Even the cleaners and catering staff did their best to chivvy me along.

My room was decorated with cards and gifts and I was constantly reminded of all your support in helping me along. I am not sure I would have come this far without you. I read every card, text, comment, Facebook message etc and each one felt like a guiding hand towards recovery.

On arrival home yesterday I was greeted by welcome home messages and today another thoughtful card arrived in the post and bunches of roses seemed to magically appear at our back door. It makes me think I must have done something good to deserve so much love and generosity of spirit.

All this time I have had my rock to lean on, quietly and without a murmur of complaint supporting me through some very difficult days and nights, fetching and carrying for me and emotionally lifting my spirits. Thank you to my dearest husband.

Sending you all the warmest and most heartfelt thanks

Love Deborah xxxx

9 thoughts on “I am home….

  1. I am so happy that you are finally home! I was hoping that this was the case when there was no posting earlier today. I hear that the appetite is the last thing to come back so just eat what you can. It sounds like your lovely family and friends have been by your side to support you on every way they can. Now you will be able to recover on your own terms at home! Enjoy and feel better! Best, ellen

  2. Hooray hooray hooray – what more can I say but you’ve done it Deb, now just don’t overdo things in your rush back to life again. It’s so wonderful to think of you happy at home, and see that smile on your face again! Much love, Nicola

    Sent from my iPad


  3. Bless you both Debs,rest,eat when you can and enjoy the comfort of your beautiful home.Sending you love and hugs as always.xxxx

  4. To be home and sleep in your very own bed, open the window, walk out just when ever you want to that’s the way to heeling.
    I was lucky one with a daughter making my food that she put it in the fridge in small portions that I could take out one in time. It was too hard to stand in the kitchen making food.
    Maybe you can do the same way, if I understood right so your daughter is even she interested in making a healthy food!
    Lot of good wishes back home! ❤️

  5. ‘There’s nothing to fear – you’re as good as the best,
    As strong as the mightiest, too.
    You can win in every battle or test;
    For there’s no one just like you.
    There’s only one you in the world today;
    So nobody else, you see,
    Can do your work in as fine a way:
    You’re the only you there’ll be!’
    (Author unknown)

    Love, Maria xxx

  6. Congrats on getting home, that is a big deal!! I am day +45, but the recovery continues, I still get tired and fatigued easily if I over do things, I have to remind myself everyday to take it easy even if I get that idea that “today I can go back to my normal activity level”. I remember when all my energy was used up making trips back and forth to the bathroom, especially those fun trips when getting there quickly was important.

    So glad to hear you are home and that your temp has settled down, one day at a time.
    I send prayers for continued progress and recovery, Paul.

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